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The Castillo Chronicle
JULIAN CASTILLO
COPYWRITER
JVLIANCASTILLO@GMAIL.COM
1 in 6ix Pack Celebrates Latinx Heritage
CULTURE — Today, 1-in-6 Americans are of hispanic heritage. That's why Modelo celebrated Hispanic Heritage Month with a special edition 6-pack made with Chicano artist, Sentrock.
From lowrider bikes to calaveras and Quetzal birds—the one-of-a-kind bottle became an expression of Latinx pride to benefit the oldest Latinx NGO in the country..
Naughty Nation Succumbs to Temptation
THE GYM — The naughty little devil in your head is jumping for joy.
That's because Quest has found a way to make guilty cravings... good? Chocolate donuts, milkshakes, nacho cheese chips, even ice cream sundaes! Quest is packing it all with protein so you can Succumb over and over.
AREA MAN SUCCUMBS TO CHOCOHOLISM
Everywhere you look people are giving into temptation in ravenous ways. Devouring donuts in the breakroom! Shotgunning milkshakes in
empty lobbies! Eating chips chipmunk style in aisle 3!
Naughty, naughty naughty and yet packed with protein.
So go ahead! Treat yourself to a donut before dinner. Reward yourself with a post-run milkshake. Your summer bod will thank you for it.
Chris Pratt Born to Play Mr. P in Big Game Spot
Pringles has casted the most famous Mr. P in the world to play the world's fmost iconic Mr. P — Julius Pringle.
All it took was a thick and luscious mustache for the internet to go crazy.
Who won the game? I don't want to talk about it...
But in the end, it was Pringles raising the trophy at the Andy Awards.
1,200lb Super Ball Comes to Las @Vegas
@VEGAS — Sin City is becoming Super Bowl City in 2024 and @Vegas is kicking things off with a super-sized Road Trip.
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Keep your windshields clear and your eyes peeled
to see the Super Ball at the Grand Canyon, Red Rocks, The Vegas Strip and more.
Can't make it? Don't fret, you can follow along in real-time! Just follow @Vegas stories and social pages.
Local Copywriter Driven Mad Writing Fake Newspaper
Volvo is High Voltage
From Yankee Stadium to Hollywood Hills, Volvo's supercharging their fleet and making quiet luxury quieter than ever with a fully-electric lineup.
You'll love the ride. Mother earth will love the results. Everybody's father will love the cargo space.
Toilet Paper Factory Discovered in Clouds
"The Angel Soft Factory! Where we make toilet paper soft and strong!"
Even in Advertising
5 worker babies and 1 infant intern were discovered here, without any adult angel supervision.
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The skydiver was sent home with a value pack of hot-off-the-press toilet paper.
It is the perfect balance of soft and strong, he claims. No injuries reported.
THE CLOUDS — A sky diver made a pillowy discovery last night when he landed in the lobby of a toilet paper factory.
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He was even more surprised to find it staffed entirely of baby angels.
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When asked where he was, Angel (the factory Manager) responded with a giggle —
Meat: Tasty Treat? or Ancient Power Source?
The pyramids. Seafaring vikings. Roman soldiers. Experts claim these people were NOT powered by protein bars or fancy "superfoods" but by the original protein—MEAT.
If it could power those ancient dudes through THAT stuff, what could it power you through today?
BREAKING: People of Color Exist
LOS ANGELES — Marketing execs and industry leaders were flabbergasted to realize that diverse talent lives amongst us. And apparently congregates every year at the ADCOLOR conference to celebrate excellence and effectiveness.
STAFFED ENTIRELY BY CUTE BABIES
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